New Version of Drama
I'm not okay.
It finally came to me—life is not all rainbows and skittles. It gets a whole lot serious, and when it does, it is usually the point when everything comes crashing down at once.
I haven't posted anything about the new year. It's my decision to just write when I want to, or when my mind feels like pouring things out. It was a freaking blast. January was absolutely so good, there was minimal drama and only lots of fun, so it made me think just how different this year would go for me. I revolved way too much around my friends that I forgot how I really make things work on my own. I was okay with that. I thought I was.
This is my first post of the year, and I do think my plan is to keep joy going at least in the starting line of a long run. There's a problem, though—it's just a plan. And when I plan things, I look forward to what it's going to come out as after, that I don't see what I really do during the process. I tell myself being happy is the most important thing in life, that I think I still am happy when I'm sad and depressed. I tell myself I don't want to be like those people who overreact, that I don't know I already am like them. I tell myself I'm tough, when I cry over little misunderstandings. I tell myself I always have a positive outlook in life, that I can't see just how pessimist and negative I am. I tell myself I don't give a crap when I, in fact, care way too much even about the simplest comments people give me. I tell myself I'm free, that I don't know I'm practically caging myself behind those bars of anxiety, insecurity, stress, sadness and depression.
Don't we all depend on what we think of ourselves, that we forget what and who we really are?
Just last week, there came the first turning point of my life in two thousand and fifteen. I realized how peer pressure and others' thoughts about me affect me so much. Being a cheater is one of the most disgusting things someone can ever describe you as. It hurt me and I'm sorry, but most importantly,I'm thankful for it. I lost a battle I didn't even know I started and was reminded to me by my teacher.
This is so ironic and I think it's time for me to stop my new version of drama. It's Valentine's day, and everyone's supposed to be happy with someone he loves, and not bitter over anything he doesn't have. Good day!
It finally came to me—life is not all rainbows and skittles. It gets a whole lot serious, and when it does, it is usually the point when everything comes crashing down at once.
I haven't posted anything about the new year. It's my decision to just write when I want to, or when my mind feels like pouring things out. It was a freaking blast. January was absolutely so good, there was minimal drama and only lots of fun, so it made me think just how different this year would go for me. I revolved way too much around my friends that I forgot how I really make things work on my own. I was okay with that. I thought I was.
This is my first post of the year, and I do think my plan is to keep joy going at least in the starting line of a long run. There's a problem, though—it's just a plan. And when I plan things, I look forward to what it's going to come out as after, that I don't see what I really do during the process. I tell myself being happy is the most important thing in life, that I think I still am happy when I'm sad and depressed. I tell myself I don't want to be like those people who overreact, that I don't know I already am like them. I tell myself I'm tough, when I cry over little misunderstandings. I tell myself I always have a positive outlook in life, that I can't see just how pessimist and negative I am. I tell myself I don't give a crap when I, in fact, care way too much even about the simplest comments people give me. I tell myself I'm free, that I don't know I'm practically caging myself behind those bars of anxiety, insecurity, stress, sadness and depression.
Don't we all depend on what we think of ourselves, that we forget what and who we really are?
Just last week, there came the first turning point of my life in two thousand and fifteen. I realized how peer pressure and others' thoughts about me affect me so much. Being a cheater is one of the most disgusting things someone can ever describe you as. It hurt me and I'm sorry, but most importantly,I'm thankful for it. I lost a battle I didn't even know I started and was reminded to me by my teacher.
This is so ironic and I think it's time for me to stop my new version of drama. It's Valentine's day, and everyone's supposed to be happy with someone he loves, and not bitter over anything he doesn't have. Good day!
haaa gayyyy
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